![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
Warning Major RANT BLAST AREA!!!!!!!!!
This is your only warning!! DO NOT PROCEED!!!!!
Today, my FIL had a heart-related and/or brain-related episode. For those of you who have been tuned into this soap opera, fill in your own comments at this point. I thought it would be a good time to wash the bed linens in his room that he's been on for the last 13 weeks. I see similar things when I'm at work. A little soap, Oxyclean, and lots of hot water will get it clean. Linens came out nice.
It's the other stuff that I found that is causing me to lose my lunch. Where to begin..... Between the mattresses, I found articles of clothes in various stages of soilage. On HER side of the bed, used toilet paper wads under the bed, by the bed, and in the bed, with the perfume of human urine coming from the floor, decorated with impressions of BM tracked from the bathroom to the bed and out the door to the hallway. On HIS side, over 20 beer cans, some empty, some not, in and on the night stand and in the garbage can. The smell of stale beer coming from the floor and the mattress. I will not describe the grease stains that I found on the pillow and the wall.
I went to the window to get some fresh air. I couldn't touch it for the mold growing on the windowsill, on the frame and glass. My comments of what I had found reached my wife. We then did a tour of his bedroom and bathroom noting in detail of what had become of our two months of hard work to get this place habitable. In 13 weeks, they have made it worse than when we came in. I cleaned the glass, the frame and the windowsill with cleaner and vinegar and saw that items we left below the window had mold growing on them. We're taking care of them. I grabbed the towels from the bathroom and the floor of their room to give them a wash, since they used them as toilet paper and then hung them back up. We are leaving the rest as we found it, to show them, the Resident Manager, and HER family, the ability of these two to take care of themselves. The control of this experiment is OUR room which doesn't have any of this.
The kicker I get from both of them, is that they don't see or smell anything wrong. One of FIL's is "All it needs is a quick sweep." No, what it needs is a combination of diesel fuel, gasoline and a road flare! As for the smell, the cats' litter boxes are a better aroma! I would rather do a line of used kitty litter then to go into that room ever again! We have sprayed Febreze over most of the area to kill the odor and left the door open to let the air circulate. If the cats happen to relieve themselves in the room, I won't be able to tell. As most of my of my friends know, I don't have much of a sense of smell. That is how bad it is.
I TOLD YOU!!!!
QueasyToday, my FIL had a heart-related and/or brain-related episode. For those of you who have been tuned into this soap opera, fill in your own comments at this point. I thought it would be a good time to wash the bed linens in his room that he's been on for the last 13 weeks. I see similar things when I'm at work. A little soap, Oxyclean, and lots of hot water will get it clean. Linens came out nice.
It's the other stuff that I found that is causing me to lose my lunch. Where to begin..... Between the mattresses, I found articles of clothes in various stages of soilage. On HER side of the bed, used toilet paper wads under the bed, by the bed, and in the bed, with the perfume of human urine coming from the floor, decorated with impressions of BM tracked from the bathroom to the bed and out the door to the hallway. On HIS side, over 20 beer cans, some empty, some not, in and on the night stand and in the garbage can. The smell of stale beer coming from the floor and the mattress. I will not describe the grease stains that I found on the pillow and the wall.
I went to the window to get some fresh air. I couldn't touch it for the mold growing on the windowsill, on the frame and glass. My comments of what I had found reached my wife. We then did a tour of his bedroom and bathroom noting in detail of what had become of our two months of hard work to get this place habitable. In 13 weeks, they have made it worse than when we came in. I cleaned the glass, the frame and the windowsill with cleaner and vinegar and saw that items we left below the window had mold growing on them. We're taking care of them. I grabbed the towels from the bathroom and the floor of their room to give them a wash, since they used them as toilet paper and then hung them back up. We are leaving the rest as we found it, to show them, the Resident Manager, and HER family, the ability of these two to take care of themselves. The control of this experiment is OUR room which doesn't have any of this.
The kicker I get from both of them, is that they don't see or smell anything wrong. One of FIL's is "All it needs is a quick sweep." No, what it needs is a combination of diesel fuel, gasoline and a road flare! As for the smell, the cats' litter boxes are a better aroma! I would rather do a line of used kitty litter then to go into that room ever again! We have sprayed Febreze over most of the area to kill the odor and left the door open to let the air circulate. If the cats happen to relieve themselves in the room, I won't be able to tell. As most of my of my friends know, I don't have much of a sense of smell. That is how bad it is.
I TOLD YOU!!!!
What you describe is one of the reasons that someone other than immediate family (and this does include you) is brought in to evaluate such situations. With immediate family it is a power struggle in the mind of the afflicted one. When an outside agency/person/expert is called in, it ceases to be a power struggle and becomes what it is - the inability of the person to care for themselves and the primary caretakers (you and cleothyla) running themselves ragged trying to do everything.
I speak from experience. I went through horrendous guilt when we had to put my mother in a hospice care facility, but the visiting nurses and social workers saw what it was doing to sordak and me and insisted on us doing it.
Do not let any other family member try to put either of you on a guilt trip either. If they do make sure ther is someone in Senior Care who will tell them to either take a flying leap or care for your FIL themselves.
♥HUGS♥ to both of you.
I really hope you can get this resolved soon. The stress is not good for either of you.